“One of the problems we see in the lives of leaders today is that they love to tell everyone else how they should serve and act, yet when it comes to their lives, they do not practice what they are preaching. Or as we like to say, they “stumble the mumble.” Too often there is a real disconnect between what the leader says and what the leader does.” (Excerpted from Lead Like Jesus, Ken Blanchard)
Destructive Relationships
March 22, 2013 by
“The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy; sadly enough, he uses people.” Karen Maloy
What exactly is emotional abuse?
March 21, 2013 by
“Bruises and broken bones are potential signs of physical abuse, but emotional abuse leaves no obvious marks. “Emotional abuse is about someone manipulating your emotions on a psychological level,” Krumins explains. “And it goes beyond simple verbal bullying.” Emotional abusers may come across as bullies, yet they are often “silent monsters” that fake affection while knowing precisely how to manipulate situations, hurt and humiliate their victims and do whatever it takes to stay in control of the situation and their victims.
Even though emotional abusers can quickly explain away or make excuses for their abusive behavior, Krumins is quick to state that emotional abusers know exactly what they’re doing. Emotional abusers are masters of manipulation, lying, intimidation and guilt. “They’ve been perfecting what they do to people ever since they were little — and they chose to be this way,” she adds. “They don’t want to change and they don’t care who they hurt as long as no one suspects them, and the situation works for them.” Michele Borboa, MS
Relationships and Reconciliation
March 18, 2013 by
While it is considered noble to want to reconcile in the midst of conflict, please keep in mind that some relationships are not meant to be rekindled, reconciled or renewed. Remember that the relationship ended for a reason. If there is no change, no transformation, or worst yet, no repentance; my advice to you is to “tread softly”. It makes no sense to expect something different from someone who hasn’t changed. That is nothing more than insanity. Reconciliation is also a participation sport; it requires two people working together to strive for a common end.
Blessings – Karen
A Heart Deceived
March 14, 2013 by
When we fail to consider what we hide in our hearts, we have also chosen to reject our truth. – Karen Maloy
Secrets
March 7, 2013 by
Be careful what you do in secret, in the end it will no longer be a secret. Karen Maloy
Spiritual Responsibility
March 5, 2013 by
“While God may anoint us to preach the gospel, it does not absolve us of the responsibility of applying it to ourselves.” Karen Maloy
Truth
February 20, 2013 by
“Don’t worry, because if given enough time the truth will always prevail” Karen Maloy
Are You Transformed or Conformed?
February 19, 2013 by
Change is something that we face on a regular basis, and whether we want to change or not is irrelevant. Without change we will never learn how to get along with others, and more importantly with ourselves. Actually, if left to our own devices I think it is safe to say that little will ever get accomplished.
According to the Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, transformation is “a change in the outward form of appearance or a change in character or condition”. In the simplest terms, that would mean that we are literally changing who we are on the inside and that is evident to others. However, we have to be careful that we are actually changing, and not just giving the illusion that we have changed.
The bible tells us to not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2, NIV). What would happen if we choose to read this scripture as if it was a principle telling us how to change? Let’s explore this concept further.
It has been proven that one of best ways to change a child’s behavior is through behavior modification. If you do not believe that, just see what will happen when a child is not disciplined! They must receive some unfavorable consequence for their undesired behavior. However, as they get older and are ready to handle it cognitively, you want them to learn how to control their own behavior. When they have reached that point, they are now able to make a conscious decision to choose to do the right thing. Eventually, you hope that they will mature to the point where they can make the decision to do the right thing, just because it is the right thing to do. If they do not, then I guess that explains the state of society today. Many adults are still acting very much like little children with little internal discipline and still seeking to do what they please, with little regard to what society believes is morally wrong.
When we think about the spiritual life of the Christian, their transformation goes through a similar process. As a new saint they also have to go through the process of change. However, if the change is strictly based on behavior modification, their heart and mind never has the opportunity to change. These individuals are still very much the same years later, stuck as spiritual babes depending on the punishment system to change their behavior. Unfortunately, if they are judged and promoted by their merits alone, you are faced with another tragic issue we are seeing increasingly growing in the body of Christ, a spiritual babe with a title. Be careful that you are not of those people. If you are still limiting your change to avoid the consequences of sin, you have not completed the process of transformation.
If true change is going to occur, it is going to take a honest assessment of what you are thinking. If your thought process has not changed, you still have work to do. I encourage you this week to take a moment to consider how you are thinking, for as a man thinketh – so is he!
Be Blessed – Min. Karen
Empowerment and Relationships
February 16, 2013 by
God sends people into your life to empower you. – Karen Maloy
When God created man it was for a purpose - to fellowship with Him. When He built Eve for Adam it was for a purpose - to fellowship with Him. When He gave His son to die on the cross, it was for a purpose - to bring us back into fellowship with Him. Knowing this about God, then we can conclude that he is a purposeful God. Given that we are also created in His image, then we can conclude that we are to become purposeful, and when it comes to our relationships, we also have to consider that they are there for a purpose. In Hebrews 10:25, we learn that we are not to forsake coming together in order to encourage one another. While we have conveniently interpreted that to mean that we need to go to church, it is more of a principle to encourage saints to stay connected with one another. It just so happens that church is the place where that most often occurs. However, if we have limited our fellowship to only those moments when we attending church, we are in fact hindering our own development. Much like the diamond in the rough that needs pressure to become that precious stone, Christians need one another to develop into that beautiful treasure God intended them to be. When we consider the relationships in our lives, we have to learn to evaluate them according to God principles. If they are not helping you to grow, mature and flourish, then consider that their purpose may not be empowerment but - depowerment! Be Blessed - Min. Karen